Making errors

In the last post, I wrote my mother "doesn't care" about discoloration of the angora yarn.  What I really meant was,  that she "doesn't mind" it.  

I'm not a native English speaker.  After those many years of English classes at schools and 5 years in The Woodlands, I'm not scared of being spoken in English.  I can buy things (mostly yarns and knitting books) online/in person in English with no problem.  Still, I feel I'm making improper, if not totally wrong, choice of words all the time.

I don't feel good about it, but I don't care.

On Ravelry, I see a lot of Japanese members make a statement that they are not good at English, being sorry for their poor English, blah, blah, blah. 

I was like that, too, in my first month or two in the USA.  Now I force myself not to be apologetic about my English skills.  That doesn't make any good.  If the reader of my comment and this blog or the person I'm talking with finds out any incorrect/wrong choice of words, phrases etc., they will help me to make my point clear if they really want to talk with me.  Or so I believe.  I don't want to waste my time and their precious time in an empty (and often poor) apology.  I don't want to become an expert of saying "I'm sorry".  I want to become good at making myself understood in English.

Everybody knows that there are a lot of people whose first language is not English.  English speakers are not mean nor narrow-minded.  Imperfect English is OK.  Wrong English makes yourself misunderstood, and that's it.  In many cases, you can correct the misunderstanding later if you don't give up making yourself understood and learn to speak better.  Knitting and speaking English looks similar, thinking of that.  Knitting is easier because you can frog a whole project and make a fresh start.  

I joined Knitters in Japan group in Ravelry because I need knitting friends I can talk with about Japanese yarns and all.
I don't participate in the Japanese Knitters Ravelry group, where they communicate only in Japanese.  Not for now.  Because I feel more comfortable in English than in Japanese when it comes to knitting.   And because I'm a snobby, stubborn little girl who's scared of being told so in her first language.

Blogging and Twittering in English takes more time than in Japanese to me, of course, but I enjoy it more.  Maybe it's because being aware of speaking imperfectly makes me feel easier to admit my fault in English.  Perhaps English speaking O'Chica is a better person than Japanese speaking O'Chica.